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If at the bottom
of everything
there were only
a wild ferment,
a power that
twisting
in dark passions
produced
everything
great or
inconsequential;
if an
unfathomable,
insatiable
emptiness
lay hid beneath
everything,
what would life be
be despair?

~kierkegaard

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"The last time I took acid, I went up into the Teton Mountains, to the top of Rendezvous Mountain, and made a little sitting place on the rocks, near the snow. Just sat there all day, unmoved, unmoving, watching my breath, while white clouds pushed casting shadows on the stillness of the white snow. It was like sitting up in the corner of a great mandala of the god-worlds thinking of the hells -- bombing Cambodia -- going on down the other side of the mandala, the other side of the round earth; and then breathing, and the thought dissolving, and the physical presence of the place where I was resuming, sitting in a white snowy place in the middle of the whole "empty" vast full universe" --allen ginsberg
Current Music:
amputechture
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COME TO MY HOUSE TOMORROW AT 7 - for an art sale/ incredible concert = to benefit a friend of mine who needs an operation . . . all proceeds go to his help.

Arcola. Echoes and Andre Rodriguez are playing and they are all great musicians . . . its an acoustic show and the line up is really great. . . if you are making your decision on whether or not to come . . . come because of the vocals - they'll blow your mind.

Anyhow - cover is 5 dollars . . . ill give you directions if you call me: 763 - 473 - 1282 . . . thats my home number

yep - and bring your friends and money for the art sale . . . thanks!

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She makes me feel organic.

I keep licking my fingers to turn a page but I'm actually opening drawers, car doors, cabinets. You can imagine my surprise at the solidity at my wet fingers.

Art is not a snapshot of reality, its a manifestation of an idea.
Nor are we snapshots.
Don't ever think that way about yourself.

I am having a very productive day. Get up and do something about it.

Current Music:
gasping.
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Mmmmm I'm having a choir concert tonight and I'm really excited about it. . . which is rare

my favorite line is:

I have dreamed that your arms are lovely

. . . mmmmmmmmmm

Current Location:
library
Current Mood:
busy busy
Current Music:
bauhaus - she's in parties
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And there has never been anymore perfection than there is now
Nor anymore heaven or hell than there is not

To elaborate is no avail, learn'd and unlearn'd know that it is so

///

But I will elaborate - (most likely to no avail because being there is the only way to understand) . . . i saw the most amazing compilation of music EVER last night. . . to me, seeing miles davis himself playing after hours at the red drum would not have been more overwhelming

there were set backs, along the lines of a woman chatting with her buddy in front of me - less quietly than permissable - but that was (for the most part) taken care of

oh my goodness - i cannot even describe it - I guess one of the reasons why it affected me so much is because he was finally real, jonsi, and his voice was from a person - i dunno, seeing him hold the mic with his bow and really care more about the music than anything and just hold it, hold everything with integrity /// that was wild.

there were so many moments - i cant/ wont tell you about /// haha personal jazz. intimacy of vocals, really understanding the words without the means and substance to do so - really seeing. soft pressure beyond sound or sin or odor

i felt infinite

and after that, knowing im not . . . felt just as good.


I'm so happy.
Current Location:
library
Current Mood:
happy happy
Current Music:
guess.
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Karma is catching up with me . . .

dont trip, all will be better monday (god, that sound), dont trip . . .

oh by the way, im taking on a child/ monster = illustrated novel/novela
- it will be real literature - real something - real images - i dont know - i want it to be well done and not a book but a Book, you know - ya . . . extrordinary is what im going for i guess. im given full permission to be as la la la as i love and not really hold ground to meaning as long as there is an answer - anything i want. and the images are the words . . . not similar, they are.

that is my goal - for people to understand that the image and the text is the same media (that they are created by the same hand with the same action) . . . i am not going to describe either with either AT ALL - but there will be a trigger. something that says, holy cats! that text = that image even if they are not like, they are still the same.

ill post some pictures of the drawings.



heres something i love:
"And there has never been any more heaven than there is not
Nor anymore youth or age than there is now"
- GREAT BEARD.
Current Mood:
i dont know.
Current Music:
sigur ros - takk
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Man o man - I have been stressing about my AP comp test all weekend and it finally happened this morning. . . & . . . bum bum bum - IT WAS LOVELY haha

I actually really enjoyed the readings and I think I pulled off a pretty decent score. One of the passages was actually inspiring so I'm going to go and buy some Thoreau stuff to keen that interest.

. . . oh my what a load-off.

I'm swamped with drawing.

SIGUR ROS IS IN EXACTLY ONE WEEK! HOLY CATS I AM GOING TO CRY OR FAINT OR SOMETHING - or itll be a xiu xiu repeat and I'll have *practiced* for months la dancage and not be able to move at all

anyhow - that modeling show thing is this weekend and I strongly suggest all of you to attend because all of the proceeds go to battered women's shelters in minn. and its a beautiful cause (my friend ember is still salvaged by one such shelter and i would really like you all to be a part of helping her out). . . its at 5 on saturday night - the escape ultra lounge... and it wont be as lame as it possibly sounds. i promise.
Current Location:
sitting on a piece of tea
Current Mood:
content content
Current Music:
sigur ros - takk
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